Why is momming so mind-numbingly exhausting? I know I am not alone. There are moms out there that pretend to really enjoy ALLLL the aspects of motherhood but I call that crap. I don't believe it, not for a second. For all the moms who have told me personally I am not alone, you feel that same way I do. We can't even hear ourselves think, let alone pray, or shower, or have fun. I am not one who enjoys sitting down in the floor and playing trucks with my kid, sorry. Do I enjoy time with my kids, yea sometimes. Truth is, the things I want to do with them, they will run the other direction. I suggest to my daughter we should go shopping together (she is seven) and she looks me dead in the face and says no, I wanna play with my friend. My oldest son? Yea, I try dates with him too and it ends in misery because he really just came along thinking he could get a toy out of it. It's gotta be all about them or nothing at all. I don't enjoy power struggles and drama so there's that.
I have never experienced anything else that even comes close to the stress and exhaustion that comes with mothering. I love my kids something fierce and at the same time they do unspeakable things to my nerves. I can never get a single thing done that I actually enjoy... for me. This blog post is being typed as my 8 year old talks my EAR OFF about the neighbors doing the dab and floss dances. Like really? I could care less about this crap when YOU do it! Why are you telling me about somebody else's kid doing it??!! For. The. Love.
I run my own business as well as homeschool and stay home with these three little invaders and to be honest it's all killing me. My business is my only creative outlet to ever express anything about myself and I have to work hard just to find a sitter to do this. I cannot give that up. My kids are my world and I want the best for them. I just need more money so I can hire a nanny and still live a life. I never have time to clean because I spend my days in the kitchen and breaking up fights. That's my day every day... oh and sweeping crumbs. Who really ever made this their life long goal? Anyone? Are there really people out there who enjoy cleaning toilets and pee, sticky peanut butter smudges off the refrigerator door, breaking up fights between siblings who only try to make eachother angry non stop, getting toddlers off of counter tops, cleaning up crayon off the wall? Kudos to you if this is really your dream in life, you have it made. Being a mom is a blessing and important but I was made for more than that. Something fulfilling, rewarding, and me. Being mom is a thankless job.
